Back To School

Yes, you read that right and if you know me you know I am not a big fan of school. As a student that is. So what is going on? A little over a month ago I started a new job. I haven’t worked in around seven months and I should have jumped back into the work force much sooner. I am now working at one of our local elementary schools as a janitor. Major twist in my career path indeed!

For the past month and some change, I have been working as a custodian. I started off as a sub, as that is how it works with being involved in this particular union. In the last couple of weeks I have been granted a full time position with the school. Locked in!

I did not go into my job search looking to become a janitor. I sent out many resumes and cover letters for nursing jobs. Work from home jobs to be exact. I applied to many and never received an interview request, which I am not used to. I have always applied for and then got the first job I applied for, but this is a different animal. I was using a lot of the online job sites. There is a lot of work from home nursing jobs out there, but when they are available to work from anywhere in the US, they become extremely competitive positions with a ton of applicants. It was frustrating. It did, although, help to steer me a different direction.

I also had been applying for creative type jobs. Voiceover and writing type gigs mostly with some others sprinkled in. These are also extremely competitive. I didn’t get any interviews, but the process was educational and fun as I got to “try” some different things out.

I then decided it was time to broaden my search. I went on our local job sites and opened myself up for anything. Never ever did I think that anything would have ever led me to joining the custodial arts world.

I remember scrolling though all the available jobs and came across the custodian job. I was like what about this? I was kind of joking with myself, so I moved on down the line. However, I did begin thinking about the custodian job I had seen. Something inside of me kept nudging me about that gig. It felt like it was where and what I was supposed to be doing. Something service related still, but with a whole lot less pressure.

And let’s face it, I really don’t have the drive to expend the energy I need to be the type of nurse I will only let myself be. That heaps a ton of pressure on one’s self, hence, why I ran away from the mental health role.

So now I am a janitor. I like it. It is a lot of work and really not a lot of pay, but it has provided a good place for my mind. At least as how my mind sits right now. I have a lot of good time with myself and my thoughts. I think a lot about the music I want to make. I think about how I want to be a better human. I think about how I can only let myself do a good job and not slack which provides a reward aspect. I take pride in the areas I clean. I feel like I have a direct impact on the comfort of the teachers to teach and the students to learn. If what I am doing is not getting notice and distracting from the task at hand then I feel like I am being successful and doing my job.

I could work to the level of pay. Let’s say Taco Bell wages are not much lower than what I am making, but I’m not wired that way. I work my ass off. I want to work my ass off. It’s exhausting, but at the same time it feels like I am getting a work out and I go-go-go all night long. Oh yeah, this is an evening position.

I like to work non-stop. It serves my ADHD well. It gives a place for me to release all the extra energy and restlessness that has come with it. It gives me a place to become even more comfortable with me and I think it has chilled some of the ramp-up the Adderall gives me allowing me to be even better to and for myself.

With working evenings, there has come and there is an adjustment going on. 3-11 is a weird time of the day to work. I’ve done it before years ago as a nurse, but I haven’t done it in a long time. You basically work during everybody else’s social time and when you come home ready for your “evening”, everyone else is ending their days.

It does work well with my late night thing I’ve been doing for a while now. I get up a couple hours before work and then I come home and stay up way to late. My wife is a late night girl, so it helps with the wild shift, as I do still get to spend some time with her at night before she goes to bed.

When she goes to bed, I find myself in the Basement of Jams working on the music I am creating. It provides a great quiet time to record as I do not need much volume to catch the sounds I want.

I have been pretty silent the last couple of weeks. I haven’t put out any new music or anything else. I’ve been diving into the music. Not necessarily to share every little thing I do, but it is to hone in some of these new things I can now do. It is coming along nicely and I do have a tune ready to share. All I need to do is make the video, which I have some new and different ideas for.

I have also not been the most responsive person ever. I feel like I’ve blown some people off and it is not what I want to do. I’m pretty buried in the music right now. I have to figure all that is going on out and it’s coming along nicely after a lot of hard work. My mind is distracted in a good way. At least in a build me up way and not constantly tearing myself down.

And patience. It’s all an exercise of patience for me. I want to release everything I do, but it’s not the right idea at this moment. I have to be patient and hone in these new abilities as they come natural, but not always the smoothest.

I’m adjusting. I’m tired when I get home. I like it and I like me right now and I’m going with it even if it means sharing less content at this very moment. It will all help in the long run which is what I only want all of this to be….help.

I remain pumped for what I want to do with Rocking Mental Health in 2024. The fire remains. I am still steering this towards being a beacon of light and a beacon of hope.

More to come. Song done. Gonna add some artwork into the video. I can’t wait for you to hear the work I’ve been doing lately.

Until next time, I hope you are well and if not, it is always OK to not be OK. It is OK to need help and it is always OK and highly encouraged to ask for help when you need it.

Jason

Pop on over to rockingmentalhealth.com. We have a ton of different creative stuff and a ton of different resources available for you.