The last time we joined yours truly he was taking a huge first step…again. It’s called a first step, even though this first step has been taken before, because sometimes we have to take things back to almost a square-one mentality. I had gotten away from some practices which had always worked for me after the first first step. It wasn’t until recently I realized I needed to make some changes or, at least, get back to the basics I learned initially when I undertook this journey.
We find yours truly being more of a space hero, at least for now. He is hurdling through space, in his spaceship, on his search for the mystical energy field known only as the “Good Place”. Many have sought this Good Place before him. Many have succeeded in finding it. It’s kind of funny that many have found it, but yet it is almost impossible to tell someone exactly how to get there. It draws you to it. This energy is a special energy and at sometime in everyones life, we are drawn to it.
I am currently being drawn to it. It is something I am searching for. As I sit back, in my spaceship chair, I begin to wonder how long it will take to get there. I have programmed the general coordinates in the navigation computer. I say “general” as I don’t know where the exact location is, but as I started this journey it just feels like the right direction.
I am unsure how long this journey will take, but I can tell I am getting closer. The closer you get to the Good Place the more you begin to feel it. It still hasn’t fully revealed it’s location, but I know I am heading in the right direction. I can feel myself heading in the right direction.
By the way, this spaceship I am in is no ordinary spaceship. It is very similar to the Millennium Falcon. OK, it is the Millennium Falcon. I finally got my hands on it after all these years. I’ve only wanted it since I was a kid😉. And now it is mine…hahaha!
OK, sorry about that. I had to make sure I was painting the entire picture and I know you were curious about what ship I was flying in. Nothing but the best!
While on this journey, I have some time to kill while flying through space. There are some tasks you have to work on while spending your days in the Millennium Falcon. You do not get to just sit back and enjoy the ride. There is work to be done. Without this work, I feel like I won’t be able to fully enjoy the Good Place when I finally arrive.
A couple of weeks or so ago, I went and saw my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. We discussed everything. We came to the conclusion that I might be under medicated. I agreed to raise the dosage of one of my anti-depressants. After talking with her, it seemed to make the most sense for this moment and for how I was feeling. I was low. Really really low. Something had to be done, so I was game for most any idea. It has to be better than this current state I was in.
I’m now a couple of weeks into this particular endeavor. I am definitely noticing a difference. It feels like, and this was almost immediately, like the light switch has been turned back on. Was the immediate reaction the medication or was it my excitement over finally getting back to working on myself. Either way, it has been a welcome feeling.
I do feel like I have been under medicated. I hate to seem like a medication pusher, but this adjustment seems to be working for me. I like this feeling. I have had one set back moment or maybe its more of an adjustment moment, but it didn’t last as long as before and I have worked out of it and still have the lights-on-feeling.
I am less frustrated with life. I feel like I am dealing with certain situations better than I was. It really is nice noticing a change and it is a nice reminder that change is possible and it does aid in getting to the Good Place.
Now, as I work on what I need to as I hurdle through space towards the Good Place, not all is going as designed…at least not yet. I have some crazy block on the exercise motivation part. I have to get better at this. I have taken Ben on a couple long walks, but the inactive days way out number the active days as far as exercise is concerned. I have to get better at this and I do believe I will get there. “Well just get out there and do it, Jason”. It seems like it should be this easy, but it is not working that way so far. I am just being honest with you.
I do still have my appointment with my therapist on the books as well. December 1st is the big day for this as it was the first available day. It is a long wait. Maybe shouldn’t be this way, but I do not blame my therapist. I blame the system and the continued lack of availability to mental health care. Way more patients than help.
I’ve even gotten back to doing a bit of art for myself. A lot of what I do is in the name of mental health awareness. It is a passion and a mission of mine, but I can’t let everything I create be geared towards that. I need some of it to be for me. It is all therapeutic, in my eyes, but you need to keep yourself in mind. I feel I can be better for you, if I do things which are better for me along the way. It has been fun just letting my mind go in a completely free direction. This is bonus awesome. Sometimes, the energy of the Good Place reveals other ways of propelling you forward and closer to the ultimate destination.
I am going to continue this journey. How can I not when I am doing this one in the Millennium Falcon? I can feel the turn towards the right direction, but I still have a ways to go. The feeling of having the light switch flipped back on is pretty awesome. I want to continue feeding this much better feeling I am having. I will hit more bumps. I’m sure I will, but I will get through them. I always do. I don’t always give myself this credit, but it is true!
Take the first step. Continue taking more steps, but take the first step. You will not regret it!
You got this! I got this! We got this! Let’s keep walking this path together.
Have a great day!
Please check out my website! www.rockingmentalhealth.com. There you will find my blog along with a podcast and other creative media I like to mess around with in the name of mental health awareness. It HAS to be OK to ask for help! We have to crush the stigma which surrounds mental health!