My Thanksgiving Reflection

Today is Thanksgiving. In the year 2020, nothing has been normal. Today will be no different. The holidays will be different this year, but the feeling of the holidays doesn’t have to be. There will just be a different spin. Maybe it is a good thing for us to shake things up a bit. Learn to really appreciate how things were and work for making things better for what will come.

This year has been an interesting one. I used to be someone that craved having people around me. My house was always open and friends would stop by. I knew that I could text or call someone and people would show up. We would hang out, have drinks, listen to music and laugh. It was so much fun.

Everything has changed this year. Is it bad? Is it good? It’s all in how you look at it.

We don’t have the house where everyone would stop by anymore. This year has not allowed it to happen like it did. Yes, we still have people come by, but not like we used to. I struggled with that at the beginning. Had to remind myself of the circumstances. It wasn’t that my friends didn’t want to come by, the occurrences of 2020 forced us to do things different.

What have these changes done for me? I have learned to deal with myself. My wife and I have grown closer as we are each others company. I have learned to appreciate the company my wife gives me and have recognized that I took that togetherness for granted sometimes.

Back to what it has done for me. I have had many struggles this year. All personal. Dealing with depression and anxiety during a pandemic has not been a fun endeavor. I could have folded my cards, but instead I’ve chosen to keep on playing.

With the additional alone time, I have been forced to take a closer look at myself. Get to know me again in a way that I haven’t known in a very long time. Some of this self reflection has been very difficult. Who really wants to focus on the bad things or the not desirable aspects of ourselves?

Even though the reflection has been difficult, the reflection has been good. It was needed. Maybe 2020 was needed in some ways (minus all of the loss). It has led me to get to know myself again. My true self. Not the self that hid behind alcohol and denial of my mental issues, but someone who wants to tackle my problems head on.

I have learned that it is OK to be by myself. It is OK to not have a house full of friends all of the time. I have learned to not take my relationship with my wife, in a just us setting, for granted. It is OK to be what I want to become. It is OK to be a work in progress.

I have learned the meaning of quality over quantity. Too much of a good thing allows that good thing to lose its shine. I love my wife. I love my family. I love my friends. I love that we are not always together as much, but the times we do get together are that much better.

I am loving my life again.

So, as much as I am ready for 2020 to exit right out the door. 2020 has been a learning process. A growing process. One that I have to recognize and really tip my hat to (sounds weird I know). Does that mean that I want all this craziness to continue? NO. I am ready for some normalcy to come back into our lives. That does not mean that I don’t respect what has been allowed to happen to me…to us.

This year I am thankful for each and everyone of you. I am thankful for the loving people that surround me. I am thankful for a period of time where I could step back and refocus on my priorities. I am thankful that I did not give up. I am thankful for the fight (what?). I am thankful for new found strength.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Thank you for checking out my blog. I hope that you can find some of the same things to be thankful for, as I have, during this crazy year that continues around us. Enjoy your day!

Have a great day!

Jason